"I'm in my alignment era" - Dakotah

“While the work of getting to know myself will be a lifelong job, I now know myself well enough to know what matters most to me at my core. I’m a mom, sister, daughter, but also a coach, a friend, an activist, and an athlete. At times I can feel pulled in a million directions or catch myself wishing I were cloned into 3 so that I could do all the things all the time. Right now, my focus is on aligning my life in a way that allows my passions and purpose to all coexist in harmony.”

I first met Dakotah a few years ago when I joined the UC Davis Athletics family. Dakotah is a water polo coach as I work on the administration and support side. This woman exudes radiance in her smile, her kindness, and upbeat personality. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Dakotah and we peeled back the curtain.

I asked her to reflect on her current era – purposefully keeping the statement broad to allow her to take the conversation in any direction she’d like.

“For a number of years, I felt stuck in survival mode. Parenthood, the pandemic, a myriad of reasons where I found myself in a place of taking life one day at a time, one hour at a time. Now, when I think of what era I’m in… I’m in some era of coming home, floating, being present, knowing everything is going to be ok.”

Dakotah explains her perception of survival mode as struggling to stay a float and needing to come up for air. Now, she’s in a place where she feels like she can relax more, no longer has a need to come up for air because she’s floating. She knows she’s going to be ok, “I can shift my focus into who am I, who am I to be, what am I here to do”.

What does being bold mean to you?

“On one hand, being a coach, being a mom, or being a women in this world – bold is a constant choice in how we show up. On the other hand, there are always going to be experiences of imposter syndrome or self-doubt that will come up. Those two things may seem contradicting – ‘how can you be bold and uncertain with yourself?’. I think about the concept we talk about with our team a lot, ‘confidence is the willingness to try’. It’s not what you know, it’s what you’re willing to pursue.”

Dakotah uses strength in the weight room as an example. “On paper, doesn’t it sound nice to be really strong? You’re capable of so much. It must be so nice to walk around really strong. And what we tell our athletes every day is that strength is a really uncomfortable thing to feel because when you’re tapping into your strength it means you’re up against something really heavy, or really powerful and you’re matching or overpowering it. So, living bold is not just a thing that seeps out of you. Any of us may have our moment. It’s an active choice; it’s something you engage with within yourself.”

Dakotah’s perception is powerful. Being bold can be applied to many areas of our lives as we pursue different things. Regardless of the activity, bold is a mindset, a choice.  

Where do you feel like you’re being bold in your life?

“I’m 36 years old. A decade ago, I thought life was going to be some linear path and that there would be levels you would pass through. I didn’t realize until now that actually, we are all, whatever age we are – we’re just figuring it out. I feel like freaking existing, showing up, and choosing to engage is how I’m being bold”.

Relatable, real, and what very few people talk about. If you met Dakotah, would you have known these perceptions? Would you have understood boldness in a similar way? Would you have known about her journey? 

To finish the interview, I asked Dakotah to share three things she loves about herself. Why? Because we’re here to celebrate women. Sometimes we need reminders to love ourselves.

“I’m super loyal, I really appreciate that about myself. I’m reliable and I’m grateful”.

Throwing crowns to Dakotah and to all who cheer her on!